14/06/20 – Still ill

I still felt unwell when I woke up. In fact, my digestive system was in absolute bits, so I had another lazy morning. I don’t know what made me go in to the big group chat, but I did. There were pictures of my ex on a Zoom video call, and pictures of two of […]

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13/06/20 – Flare up

The weather was glorious, but I really didn’t feel like going out. I was still so anxious.My Mum had an optician’s appointment in the afternoon (to get new glasses after she fell on her face that time), so wasn’t going to go walking. My Dad very kindly offered to go in her place, but I […]

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12/06/20 – ALL CAPS TEXT

I had bad dreams about torture, probably because of all the Breaking Bad I watched the day before.The weather was grim too, so not off to a great start. It got even worse when I turned my phone on. I had a text message from the bar’s landlord, reprimanding me in ALL CAPS, and a […]

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11/06/20 – Independence Day

Two years ago today, I left my husband. I woke up early, already had my bags packed, woke him up, and told him I was going to stay with a friend. I was technically on holiday, but I went in to work and did stock take because I just wanted something to do.I don’t regret […]

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10/06/20 – Just another day

I had dreams where I had self-harmed my arms, which was really harrowing.Not a great start to the day. I had a lazy morning, as it was raining and I just felt a bit blah. After lunch, I did a ballet stretch class. Afterwards, I didn’t quite feel like it was enough, so I did […]

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09/06/20 – The Ponds

It’s been one week since I’ve done any writing, so the next few entries might be a bit patchy.It’s not been a great week. I’ve been feeling really physically unwell.I still am tbh. It was a nice morning, so my Dad went fishing. I felt somewhat motivated, so I played the keyboard and then did […]

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08/06/20 – Instruments

It was Monday morning, so I turned on my phone to make my weekly appointment with my GP.We spoke for a while about how I’m doing, and he was really pleased that I’ve knocked the sleeping pills on the head. He said that I’d mentioned coming off my mood stabilisers before, and suggested that we […]

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07/06/20 – Goodbye Colston

Had really bizarre dreams and woke up early.Standard. After breakfast I went back to sleep for a bit. I’m only getting like 6 hours sleep a night, and it’s really broken, so every few days I just need a bit of a catch up. After lunch I started to play the keyboard, but then my […]

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06/06/20 – Open for business

I had weird dreams where my Dad was talking to me about my Nottingham friends, and he kept saying ‘Don’t let them forget who you are’.Left me feeling a bit weird when I woke up. The weather was horrific, and I was still feeling really shit, although my period had stopped completely. Because of my […]

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05/06/20 – Haywire Hormones

I had really weird dreams that I was on a Star Destroyer that crashed in to another one, and then they kind of sank like the Titanic. I know that it was because I’d been watching Breaking Bad where there’s a plane collision.I also dreamt that my Dad and I were hiding and sleeping out […]

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