05/06/20 – Haywire Hormones

I had really weird dreams that I was on a Star Destroyer that crashed in to another one, and then they kind of sank like the Titanic. I know that it was because I’d been watching Breaking Bad where there’s a plane collision.
I also dreamt that my Dad and I were hiding and sleeping out in the middle of the sea in a tiny boat. Again, pretty sure that I dreamt that because I’d thought about watching Dexter again, which features his boat going out to the middle of the ocean a lot.

I was really tired still. I didn’t feel refreshed in the slightest. When I went to the bathroom, it turned out I’d started my period a week early. My hormones are obviously all over the place atm.
I tried to have a bit of a nap, but didn’t manage to get to sleep, I just ended up thinking lots about the future.

We had bacon for lunch, which was great. I’m so hungry atm.
After that, I watched some YouTube videos on Buddhism, Mindfulness, and Meditation. I decided to lie in bed, try to clear my thoughts, and be mindful.

I ended up falling asleep.
I just felt really ‘blah’ for the whole day.
I didn’t play the keyboard, go for a walk, do any ballet, or write, which probably made me feel a bit crap mentally in the long run, but I just had zero motivation and felt so exhausted.

For dinner we had steak, and my Dad showed me how he was going to cold smoke the trout that he caught yesterday. He gets dead excited about smoking things.

It was Friday night, so we watched Gogglebox, but it’s now ‘Celebrity Gogglebox’.
I don’t know who half of them are, which I don’t really care about, but my Mum was incessantly googling all of them and explaining who they were.
What really got to me though was when she’d ask who someone was, and I’d say ‘That’s Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon. He was on Eastenders and she was on X Factor. Now she’s on Loose Women’. Then she’d google it, and tell me ‘Oh he’s from Eastenders and she was on X Factor’. It drove me mental! I know she didn’t mean to, it’s just how she is – she loves to look things up. But my Dad saw it from my side. He light-heartedly kept laughing, saying ‘You’re irritating Lucy! She just said that!’.
I was in a bit of a spiky mood. Probably because of my haywire hormones.

Bit of a shitter of a day tbh.

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