I had a really bad night’s sleep without my pills.
When daylight came, I didn’t feel like I’d fallen to sleep yet, but I must have, because I remembered my dreams.
I was in a bit of a funk, so I went online and bought £100 worth of ballet gear, which cheered me up loads. It sounds like a lot, but I need everything from scratch – shoes, tights, leotards…
I can’t find any of my clothes that fit close enough to be able to see my posture – I tend to wear pretty baggy things. And doing ballet barefoot on a carpet is pretty impossible – way too much friction.
I cannot wait for it to all arrive.
I had a pretty lazy morning in bed, just playing games on my tablet and watching Breaking Bad, cuz I still felt pretty shit.
At lunchtime, we put the news on. Trump deployed a load of troops to make way for him to walk to a church near the Whitehouse for a photo op with a bible… I said to my parents that that kind of thing’s going to get him assassinated.
He’s said that he’s willing to send the army to any state that cannot get their race riots under control.
Such a dickhead.
Just say sorry! Just respect black people! Gay people! Muslim people! ALL PEOPLE!
After lunch, I did a ballet class. This one was mainly focused on the core and stretching.
My flexibility has increased loads. I can grab my feet now when they’re stretched straight out in front of me, and if I sit in a frog position I can touch my toes with my nose.
I used to be able to jump straight in to the splits (it was my teenage party trick), but my body is so rusty now.
I had a shower, and couldn’t really find anything that I wanted to wear, so I went through one of my bags from the marital home. I am storing loads of stuff here at my parents until I move out of my studio and get a bigger place. I rediscovered clothes that I haven’t seen for nearly 2 years, which was great.
I then did quite a bit of writing until my brain was absolutely fried.
As I was relaxing for a bit afterwards, I could hear children in next-door’s garden, so they’d obviously got the grandkids round since they can do that now. I looked out of the window, and could see our neighbour standing and smiling while watching on. So lovely.
Dinner time was really nice. I was feeling really sociable and chatty, but made the choice to spend the evening in my room watching Breaking Bad, because I’m really enjoying it!
I played some games on my tablet too, played the keyboard for a bit, and painted my toenails a lavender colour with pink glitter. It’s so gross to have your nose on your toes and be greeted by nothing but hard skin and chipped nail varnish.
It turned out to be another good day, so I gave going to sleep without sleeping pills another bash. It was much more successful, because I fell asleep before my sleep sounds turned off after an hour.
Smiles all round.