29/05/20 – Plastic 20’s

I had a weird night’s sleep with more weird dreams.

When I was in bed having my morning coffee, my mum came to show me something.

A plastic £20 note.

We’d had a conversation a few days earlier about plastic money, and I said it was so strange that they still only had paper 20’s. My parents said 20’s were plastic too, but I was like NOPE.
Turns out they put them in to circulation mid-February. That’s how long it’s been since I handled cash – something that I ordinarily do every single day at work.

It really freaked me out that something like that had changed without me even knowing about it.
It was a bit like when people come out of prison and don’t understand smart phones or the internet, because while they’ve stood still, the world has kept turning.

My Dad had gone out at 6:45AM to go fishing before they loaded up the lake with more trout. Apparently, it’s bad decorum to go fishing straight after the fish have been put in.
When he came back, he had caught a reasonably sized rainbow trout.
It was really weird to look at this dead fish and know I’d be eating it for my dinner.

As the morning wore on, I began to feel really anxious about lockdown lifting on Monday. I felt sick with nerves, and paralysed with fear.
I know it seems really stupid, but it’s like with the £20 notes – the world has stood still for a bit while I’ve been forced to stand still, and now it’s going to come back to life, while I continue to stand still.
I say ‘stand still’. I know I’m getting better, but it’s a slow process, and unfortunately, not one that I can rush to fit in with what the rest of the country are doing.

In the afternoon I did some writing, which I hadn’t done for ages.
I thought about how to write up the goings on of the past few days, and decided to just go for it all in one big go, and publish as I wrote (which I don’t always do – sometimes I schedule posts).
I felt cleansed, but also paranoid.
I could hear my parents talking downstairs, and I was worried that they were talking about me, or were upset about what I’d written.
At one point my Mum even came upstairs to apologise again. I told her she didn’t need to.

When I went downstairs for dinner, my Dad asked if my fingers were tired and joked around a bit, so I knew it was all fine.

I talked with them a lot about my worries about lockdown lifting, which was really helpful.

On a complete tangent, my parents have a bird box mounted on our garage, which some blue tits have nested in.
You can see their little baby heads peeping out sometimes, and hear lots of cheeping.
Just need to hope that they survive the next few days before they fledge. Sometimes bigger birds like magpies or woodpeckers get to the nest and eat them.

We had the trout that my Dad had caught for dinner, and it was really good, but the weather was so so hot. I was really sweaty and uncomfortable for ages after dinner.
I do not do well in the hot weather.

In the evening, I told a really funny joke.
My Dad was walking from the kitchen to the living room with a glass of red wine in one hand, and the bottle in another.
I said, ‘Caught red handed’.
He put down his glass and bottle, and I was like ‘oh fuck he’s going to jab me, or even worse, tickle me’, but he gave me a high five.

He’s really rough at tickling. Like, it really hurts.
One Christmas he had me in a grip from behind and was tickling my waist. I told him I had a miniature swords on one of my rings (known to my friends as ‘sword ring’ – they always tell me to stop wearing it cuz I always end up cutting myself or others with it…), so if he didn’t stop I would cut him.
He didn’t stop, so I cut him.
My mum was a bit upset that I made my pensioner Father bleed, but a few weeks later said she thought it actually made his Christmas.

We watched Gogglebox together, and then my parents started to watch The Last Leg as I was on my way to bed. They paused it so that they could show me a hilarious section about a priest performing a socially distanced baptism – with a pink water pistol and a face mask.

I took a fairy cake up to bed with me.
My mum had popped by the market when she went to Boots to specially pick me some up, because I said I couldn’t believe the stall was still there.
It reminded me of being young.

This whole stay really is just one giant reminiscence of my childhood.

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