I slept through again, almost all the way until 10AM.
I felt a bit brighter, and instead of just going downstairs to make my coffee and then quickly retreating back upstairs, I went to say hello to my Dad in his study. My mum was outside the kitchen window potting plants, so I sat immediately on the other side of it waiting for her to notice me. It took a good 2 or 3 minutes for her to look up, and then she nearly shat herself.
I had a pretty low-key morning, and then after lunch caught up on some writing.
I turned my phone back on to access a photo, and ended up having a bit of a conversation with one of my friends, which was really nice.
I don’t think I need to keep it totally off, I just need to be mindful of how and when I use it.
After that, I did a Joe Wicks workout with my parents. We did a super beginner one again, which I found pretty easy apart from the star jumps (although I know I’ll feel my muscles tomorrow).
Again, I was super concerned about my Dad dropping dead and my mum wrecking her joints.
It’s now the 29th of May.
I have finally sat down and begun to write again, after a strange week of ups and downs, and clichéd self-discovery.
Apologies for dropping off the face of the earth without a word. I didn’t mean to leave it this long.
After the workout I did an adult ballet class from The Ballet Coach on YouTube.
It was a definite step up from the Adult Stretch class I’d done previously. Intense bar workout, complex port de bras, lots of jumping sequences, and then a very long cool down and stretch.
I felt absolutely wrecked afterwards. That’s a lot of physical exercise to have done in one day.
I had a shower, cuz I was a gross mess. When I did my mascara it was much easier than it has been recently. My tremor seems to have decreased.
I chilled out for the rest of the afternoon, and then went downstairs for dinner.
Before we ate, my mum tried to show me something my sister in law had posted on social media. I said to her that I didn’t want to see, and that I have been off social media for a reason. So, she then verbally read me the Facebook status that she had written instead.
I told her off a bit. I said, again, that I’m not on there for a reason. I don’t want to know.
It’s nothing personal, it’s just that I want a break from that world atm. I need that break from people posting about their lives – likes and comments and all that.
I need to focus on myself and eventually my relationships with others – not their relationships with other people.
I watched the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12 reunion. It was done via Zoom or something similar, with all the queens isolated in their homes.
I didn’t like it.
Drag Race has been my safe space. My escape from how the world is atm. To hear about Coronavirus and lockdown on the show kind of violated that.
My parents and I decided to watch ‘Paddington’ – a fly on the wall series about the London station.
It’s great. It gets so dramatic about things like the buffet trolley not getting on to a train and stuff.
After that, we were having a good time, so we decided to watch another of the Eurovision things we’d recorded – The A-Z of Eurovision, with Rylan.
When I went to bed, I decided to reclaim all of it.
I have spent the entire time since I’ve been here on my side, with an empty space next to me. I decided to sleep in the middle. It makes far more sense when it’s just me.
Don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.