10/05/20 – The day I took my meds back

I’d slept with the window open, and awoke to the sound of pouring rain outside, which was glorious.

Definitely the kind of day to stay snuggled up in bed. So that’s exactly what I did.

Honestly, I spent most of the day in my bed wearing just a big t-shirt and my pants. I was really feeling myself. I don’t mean physically. I mean like how Beyoncé means. Just revelling in being free and enjoying my own company.

We had some onion bread which my mum had made for lunch. She was so proud of it that she bought it up to show me when it finished. I was still in bed, and it left my room smelling of gorgeous freshly baked bread.

In the afternoon we had a zoom call with my brother and sister in law. I stayed in bed for that too. It was really good to see them, have a catch up, and a bit of a laugh.

I told them all that my phone is still off.

You know how in some like rehab facilities, spas or bootcamps or whatever, they take your phone off you so you can fully concentrate on the here and now?
Well that’s exactly what I’m doing.
And I think I’ve needed to do it for a while.

I spent most of the day just idly passing time on my tablet and Netflix, awaiting the Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s ‘announcement’ at 7PM…
We’ve been anticipating it all week.
The announcement of the ‘roadmap’ for how to lift lockdown.

I broke a glass on the kitchen floor in the afternoon. I said to my parents that I’ve not done that for a while! At work it’s an almost daily occurrence.
Sometimes I throw them on the floor just for the fun of it (or more often than not, if I’m just really angry).

I re-watched the episode of Drag Race where the runway theme is Frozen Eleganza, and the lipsynch is to ‘Let It Go’. I told my parents about it, and we think we might finally get Disney+. Then I can watch Frozen again. And Star Wars!

Before dinner every night, I cut the pills off the strip that I will need to take in the morning.
I’m feeling good. And frankly I’m sick of it.
So I’ve taken control back of all of my medication. No more will my mum have to hide it in various kitchen cupboards (I cracked her code – she was a rubbish hider).
A huge step.

For dinner we had roast chicken, with some stuffing balls and pigs in blankets that my parents had bought at Christmas. So, it was a bit like a mini Christmas dinner.

Straight after that, we watched the Prime Minister’s announcement, and it was as fucking clear as mud.

He wants to encourage people to go to work as of tomorrow. But not use public transport. And not meet up with people outside of your household. But to go outside as much as you want.
It was really garbled and really weird, and didn’t really make a lot of sense.

Parts of it reminded me a bit of some of the e-mails I send (but a lot clearer that Boris) to my team when stock take has been shite, and I’m like I WILL TAKE AWAY STAFF DRINKS FOR EVERYONE IF THIS ONE PERSON DOESN’T START RINGING THROUGH THINGS PROPERLY.
Basically, play by the rules, or you’ll ruin it for everyone.

Scotland, Wales, nor Ireland are lifting the lockdown in any kind of way, whereas England is.
I genuinely think this could break Great Britain.
Scotland will gain independence following this, for sure.

I spent the evening pretty low key, just playing on my tablet and watching endless Drag Race.

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