09/05/20

When I woke up, I decided to take another day to look after myself. I was still pretty exhausted. So, I left my phone off.

I spent my morning in bed watching Netflix and playing on my tablet. After breakfast, I was so tired that I fell back in to a really deep sleep and didn’t wake up til 1PM.

I missed out on lunch because I’d just woken up, but decided to get showered, dressed, and go out for a short walk.

My mum and I went to the orchard which is at the entrance to the woods, and is only open on weekends.

It made a nice change, and we could see our house from a totally different angle. I sometimes see people walking around the orchard from my bedroom window, so it was nice to know what it’s like in there.

I mentioned to my mum that my phone was still off. I told I need some proper time to look after myself, and she wholeheartedly agreed.
I’ve been so preoccupied with my relationships with others, I haven’t given myself a true break since this all started.

While I was out, I OPENED A GATE, and realised it’s probably the first time I’ve touched something outside of the house since I was discharged from hospital. I ended up holding my hand far away from my body, and washing it way too thoroughly as soon as I got back.

We made our walk really short because it was so hot, and I just felt exhausted. It took me ages when I got back to the house to feel anything resembling normal again.

I realised I hadn’t eaten properly either, so had a couple of cheese scones that my mum had made the previous day, which were damn good, but still left me feeling hungry and probably pretty hypo come to think of it.

We had ordered Thai for dinner FROM A REAL-LIFE TAKEAWAY RESTAURANT!

My mum had called the previous day and placed our order for 7PM. We never thought it would arrive on time, but it actually did.

As we were waiting, my Dad got this big photo album out, which had a few pictures of my Grandad over in India.
It also had loads of baby photos of my grandparents and a newspaper clipping from their wedding. It was filled with documents such as mortgage books, passports, birth and death certificates – my Dad’s got it all.
It was super interesting. I would love to have a proper look at some of those things. Might as well while I’m spending my time here.

The Thai was epic, but serving it up was a bit of a palaver.
My mum touched the plastic cartons, and then put her finger directly in to the rice to test the temperature, and I was like WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER TOUCHING THE HARD SURFACES!
So, we spent a lot of time prodding things around with spoons and spilling stuff all over the table while dishing up through fear of touching the cartons.

I was super tired, so spent the evening in my room playing on my tablet and watching Netflix.
By the end of the evening, I was so excited to go back to sleep. I’m just so exhausted atm.

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