I had one of the worst nights sleep that I’ve had for a very long time.
I was wide awake at 4:30AM but stayed in bed trying to get back to sleep, which I think gave me really weird dreams.
I was out at sea, caught in a current and drowning. I was trying to plant a tree in the sea. My bestie from school and I were trying to find contact details for my ex-husband’s current girlfriend because she was harassing me. And weirdest of all, I got drunk. I genuinely felt drunk in my dream, and went home with this random guy. When I woke up in the morning I couldn’t remember if we’d slept together or not, and it was really scary.
I decided I wanted to spend another day in bed, so I did.
It’s my ex’s birthday at the weekend, and I wanted to get him something. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but couldn’t decide what was appropriate. I eventually came to a decision that I felt really happy with, and put in an order. I felt much better afterwards. I care about him so much, and I just want him to have a good day.
I spoke to my Dad about it. I just have to think about how I’m going to tackle the actual day, because I think it’s going to be difficult for me, especially because there’ll more than likely be some kind of video call party. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that, but at the same time would really like to be part of his celebrations. I guess I’m going to have to see how it goes.
My Dad also told me that he’d answered a call for me on the house phone earlier in the morning to check if I was shielding!
Apparently because I have mild asthma and severe mental health issues, I should be locked away in my room with people delivering my meals. So according to the government, me and my Dad should be closed off in different parts of the house with my mum preparing our food and leaving it outside the door for us. We also both shouldn’t leave the house at all for 12 weeks – not even for exercise.
My mum did a shop, so it was like weekly Christmas, going to see what she’d bought back.
I felt a bit more sociable than I had the day before, but still spent it wearing my PJs in bed aside from when I came down for meals and the daily government briefing.
Not much more to report really.
See how I feel tomorrow – whether I get up and started again, or spend another day recuperating.