23/04/20

I woke up feeling pretty good. Even put my rainbow dungarees on.

Got ready and did a bit of writing. I was awaiting a Zoom conference video call with my three girlfriends, so was just passing the time really.
The call got pushed back, so I ended up waiting a bit longer, which made me feel a bit anxious.

Had lunch, and my parents said they’d seen a Coastguard helicopter circling over the town, which is a bit weird.

We had our Zoom call, and it was good to see everyone’s faces, but a bit weird. No one really had a lot to say, and no one asked me about my mental health. I guess it’s just difficult for some people. Maybe they were worried about upsetting me.

After that, the City Local Mental Health Team called me to check on how I was doing over in Lincolnshire, which was most unexpected, but really good. They let me know that they are open to me whenever I move back, which is reassuring.

My mum and I went for our daily walk, and my thoughts were just racing all around my head, mostly about my ex and how disconnected I feel from everyone through fear of talking to him.

Before dinner my Dad said I looked pretty pale, and I felt as if I was in complete sensory overload – everything was so loud and smelled so strong.

I felt a bit better after eating some dinner, and spent the evening watching Netflix. Have re-started Drag Race and made my way through a whole season already, lol.

The Thursday 8PM Clap For Carers was a bit weird, because there’s this guy down the road who runs a local disco business, and had his DJ set out on the street – flashing lights and all. He was playing this really weird keyboard version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow.
All very bizarre.

By the end of the night I could barely stay awake, had taken some meds because of my paranoid thoughts and anxieties, so ended up going to sleep just before 10.