31/03/20 – Side effect city

As I said in my previous post, my next few entries are likely to be super boring.

Long story short – side effects are absolutely kicking my arse.

Starting antidepressants is always a bit of a rough ride for the first week or so, but add in mood stabilisers and antipsychotics and you’ve got yourself a real party.

I got showered, but straight back in to my PJs, and then pretty much spent the whole day in bed watching Netflix.

I’m feeling really hot & cold, shaking, sweating, nauseous, exhausted (although my heart is beating out of my chest), and my stomach is in absolute bits. My parents say I look grey.
All of these are fairly common side effects, just exacerbated by the other meds I’m currently on. Don’t worry, I’m not having some kind of 1 in 1000 rare reaction where I’m going to die or anything.

If you’ve ever seen Trainspotting, that scene where Ewan McGregor comes off heroin, it feels a bit like that, but without a dead baby on the ceiling.

A had an accidental nap from 2-5, which fucked up my hopes of an early night.

Turns out my dad has this huge gross bite on his arm, and had to go to the GP to get it dressed, so my mum has to be a double nurse now. I missed all this because I was sleeping/dying in bed.

Had dinner with my parents, and it was the biggest mission because I feel so nauseous.

After that, it was pretty much back to bed for more Netflix, anxiety (another side effect) and feeling like general shite.
Struggled a lot to sleep, even with the help of medication, but nowhere near as bad as the night before.

Doubling up tomorrow from 50mg to 100mg per day, so going to be a few more days written off of just feeling really fucking ill.
BUT, I know how worth it these effects can be. I’m not actually too bothered about feeling unwell, because at least I’m doing something to get me well in the long run.

Hopefully, this time in two weeks, I’ll be feeling better than I have in months.
Fingers crossed.

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